Adoption Advice

A word from Susie McGavin, MFT - Adopting With Love Founder

As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist I've worked with foster, adoptive, and kinship families, all of whom have shown me there are many different ways to grow our families through adoption.

As an adoptee from a closed adoption, I'm happy to share my own experiences which may help you compare levels of openness in adoptions. While my closed adoption experience was a positive one, I am a strong advocate of open adoptions and the additional benefits that all triad members experience.

As my husband and I go through this adoption process ourselves, we have had the pleasure of meeting some knowledgeable adoption professionals who have shared their valuable wisdom and advice. I frequently show links to various adoption sites so you can obtain information directly from those sources.

I do not provide services as an adoption specialist. If you are a birthmother and are considering placing your child through adoption, or a family who is considering adoption as a way to grow your family, it is essential that you acquire the services of an adoption professional who you can trust to guide you through the adoption process.

Where do you begin?

First you need to choose an adoption professional. The term Adoption Professional (or sometimes referred to as Adoption Specialist) is broad term and may refer to an agency, facilitator, counselor, attorney, or consultant.

It is up to you to research the person or organization that you'll use. Most people use referrals based on the experiences by a friend or other professional. It's kind of like choosing your family phsyician - you can spend a lot of time 'kicking tires' or trust your friends' experience and judgement.

Visit the Birthmother page for a list of:

• Adoption Agencies
• Adoption Attorneys
• Adoption Facilitators
• Adoption Outreach Specialists
• Web Hosting Services for Waiting Families

DEAR SUSIE . . .

Q: I have an adoption ettiquete question. When my friend sent me a birth announcement for her adopted child, I responded with a congratulatory card and gift for the baby. I recently received a finalization announcement from the same friend for the same child (6 mo later). Do I send another gift or card? Carol, Santa Clara, CA

A: Carol - There is no wrong answer here. You may send a gift if you like, or even another card - I suppose it all depends on your relationship with your friend and her family. Finalization is the completion of the adoption process. Your friend may have sent announcements for this momentous event for the simple sake of saying HOORAY! My congrats to all!

Got Questions?

Here's your chance to ask about the adoption process. I will post information in a question and answer format. Only your first name, city and state will be posted with the questions. I may not be able to post all questions and answers, and even I don't know everything about this process. If I cannot post your question, I will attempt to contact you via email or phone to give you answers and / or point you in the right direction.

Email your questions to Susie at advice@adoptingwithlove.com. Please include your first name, city and state where you reside, and phone contact information (optional). Please send questions via email only. I look forward to hearing from you!